So, today coworker-friend J sent me a very funny excerpt from the Frolic and Detour blog, written by Miss Alli, a recapper on one of my favorite Web sites, Television Without Pity. In her blog post, Miss Alli and her friend and fellow recapper, Sars, discuss the hundred or so permutations of That Guy. For example, there's That Guy Who Wears His Hat Backwards and Goes "Woooo!" There's Gore-Tex Vegetarian With Bicycle Guy. There's I'm Sensitive But Only So I Can Get Laid Guy, Defensive About Not Finishing College Guy, and Self-Conciously Offbeat Guy. Here in Los Angeles, we are all too familiar with Screams "Make It Happen!" Into His Cell Phone In Quiet Restaurants Guy, Talks Only About His Latest Acting Gig And Nothing Else Guy, and Wears Trucker Caps and Aviators Because Ashton Kutcher Wears Them Guy.
It all got me thinking: there's also That Cat. You know, That Cat Who Finds You Excruciatingly Boring, for instance. Or maybe That Cat Who Always Rubs Against Your Legs For So Long It Becomes Creepy. And of course, Kills All The Birds In The Neighborhood And Leaves Their Carcasses Lying About Cat. Here, for your reading pleasure (I hope), are various other That Cats, as categorized by J and me this afternoon:
Put Down the Claw Trimmer Before Someone Gets Hurt Cat
I Am in Love With This Magical Bathtub Cat
Do Not Mock My Hunger, Woman, Just Give Me the Goddamn Food Cat
Maybe If I Look Very Calm, No One Will Notice Me Walking on the Stove Cat
Only Fascinated by the Computer Keyboard When You Actually Want to Type on It Cat
It's 4:41 AM, Why Aren't You Awake and Playing With Me? Cat
Don't F-cking Wake Me Up From a Nap Ever Again Cat
Hooray! I Love Your Lap! Cat
Oops! I Accidentally Leaked A Bit of Poo Onto Your Comforter, But It's Cool 'Cause I'm So Cute, Right? Cat (that's our Ndugu!)
I Suppose You May Approach Me Now, But I Might Change My Mind And Bite You Cat (that's our Toonces!)
I Am So Over Playing With The Feather Wand Cat
Sweet Jesus, Is That A Cardboard Box Over There? I Must Jump Into It Immediately! Cat
Readers (all three or four of you), your additional contributions to this list are welcome!
In the meantime, I'll be working on my That Coworker list...
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3 comments:
I must leap into the fresh litter Cat.
My tail is floofed for no apparent reason Cat.
I'm leaping from item to item for no reason Cat.
Hee hee! Toonces is totally My Tail Is Floofed For No Apparent Reason Cat. Hee!
The litter box is right next to my poop Cat.
Part bulimic/anorexic Cat.
I must torture you by doing the very thing you hate each time we are all in a certain room Cat.
Now that you laid out all your fresh clean clothes, I must lay on them Cat.
Don't ever shut that door again Cat.
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