I’m Not an Ungrateful Jerk

(Honest)

It occurred to me that my Debbie Downer post makes me out to be an ingrate, and I want to make it clear that I'm not. After six solid months of precisely timed trying, S and I are quite delighted and over the moon about being preggers. By about May or so, we'd kind of resigned ourselves to the idea that maybe we weren't ever going to be able to make a baby without some sort of assistance, and we'd gotten pretty down (and, of course, anxious) about it. So please don't think we're all, "Shit! A baby! Damn it!" That's totally not it. We're more like, "Oh my god, it finally happened! We've made a teeny person together! We're going to be a family! Is this too good to be true? Can we really pull this off?"

So, I'd like to share some of the things about which I'm very excited, with regard to the lil' fetus and his or her future (assuming all goes well).

1. Can't wait to see what this wee little lad/lass looks like. I'm guessing Baby of M will have S's deep-set blue eyes and strong browbone. Perhaps my nose (gah!), which I'd characterize as "very British" as opposed to, say, "really huge." Obviously, bright blond hair. And for Baby of M's sake, let's hope he or she gets S's thighs.

2. Really curious about Baby of M's personality. Will he or she be happy-go-lucky, always grinning and laughing? Or, will he or she be more guarded and introspective and contemplative?

3. What kinds of things will Baby of M be good at, later on down the line? Where will his or her talents and interests lie? Will he or she love to read, like Mom and Dad do? One might think Baby of M might take an interest in writing. Perhaps he or she will be lucky enough to inherit Dad's talent for cartoon-style sketching. Will Baby of M love school and all things academic, or will he or she be more of a daydreamer? Will Baby of M be athletic? Musical? Creative? Logical? Mathematical? Ambitious? Laid-back? A smattering of everything?

4. Family vacations! Can't wait to show Baby of M my favorite places: the Northeast, London, the beach...

5. Teaching Baby of M compassion and respect for others. I want him or her to care about other people, and animals.

6. Just generally taking Baby of M out and about. You know, on little outings about town.

7. Watching S interact with Baby of M. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he'll be a tremendous dad.

So, these are the types of things I let myself think about, on occasion, when I’m feeling relatively relaxed, calm, and confident.