Monday, November 06, 2006

Hello? Anyone? (sound of voice echoing in an empty, high-ceilinged hallway)

A-hem. Um, hi there. As you well know, I had a baby! So, yeah, that explains why I haven't posted since...before she was born. Well, let's just jump right back into it, shall we?
So, Baby M. She's petite and blonde, with dark-blue eyes and enormous rosy cheeks. She's the love of my life, and I feel like we're getting to know and appreciate each other more every day. Just this past Sunday, for instance, S, Baby M, and I accepted an invite to join S's friend D at church. (Yes, church! Entering the sanctuary was like setting foot on the moon, I swear. It had been a long, long, long, LONG time since I'd been to church. It felt so foreign.) Anyway, we tried dropping Baby M off in the nursery with the other little cuties, but we were retrieved from the service a few minutes later by one of the caregivers, who told us Baby M "just won't stop crying." When S and I followed the caregiver back to the nursery and I scooped teary Baby M into my arms, she stopped crying within moments, and it made me feel really good. (One of the caregivers even remarked, "Isn't that amazing?") It was the first time I could think of that I was able to stop Baby M's crying so quickly and easily. In the early months, Baby M cried inconsolably, and it took all of my effort and creativity to put an end to it; often, she'd just cry herself out, and nothing I'd do would squelch the meltdowns any more quickly. It made me feel so incapable and hopeless. Now, I see from time to time that Baby M trusts me and responds to me and feels obviously comforted by me. It's a relief.
Tomorrow I start back at my old company working part time. I'll have Mondays and Fridays home with Baby M---hooray! I've never felt so confident and right about a decision I've made as I do about this decision to stop working full time. Granted, S and I will be eating lots of 49-cent Ramen noodles and cutting back on such luxuries as, you know, buying shoes and whatnot to be able to afford our apartment, but it's worth it.