Half-empty

Today on the NPR Web site I came across a This I Believe essay by Barbara Held, a professor of psychology and social studies at Bowdoin College and the author of Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching.
Held's belief is that there is "no one right way to cope with all of the pain of living," and that, for many people, feeling temporarily negative and down about a situation or life in general is a valid way of coping with adversity. We shouldn't necessarily try to force positive thinking or cheerfulness on people who are worried or scared or sad about something, Held says. "Sometimes a lot of what people need when faced with adversity is permission to feel crummy for a while, to realize that feeling bad is not automatically the same as being mentally ill," is how she puts it.
Or, even more simply stated, it's OK not to be happy all of the time.
This has been a revelation for me.
This essay resonated with me so much, it actually kind of startled me. S and I have been talking a lot lately about the Buddhist principle that life is difficult, and how that principle is actually freeing and comforting to us in an unexpected way. On the contrary, if we go around thinking we need to be happy and positive all the time, we're going to be at best disappointed and at worst paralyzed with fear when we find ourselves face to face with hardship, loss, or tragedy. Then, on top of that, we're going to feel guilty that we're unable to think positively about our misfortune.
Personally, it has been helping me, when I'm upset or anxious or angry about something, to remind myself that life is difficult. It's not supposed to be one big happy, breezy party all of the time. And it's difficult for everyone, not just for me and my family. We're all in this difficult life together. This fact soothes me, and Barbara Held's piece reassures me that I'm not alone in my sometimes glass-half-empty perspective.