Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Dying Butterfly

Last night at the Farmers' Market I watched a beautiful butterfly limp around the pavement and make several unsuccessful attempts to take wing and flutter off. It was disturbing to watch, this injured creature with wide, smooth wings of yellow and black trying to just get the hell off the ground and away from there, and failing.

I was bothered and sad watching this little tragedy, but when I pointed it out to my friend, who was sitting next to me on the bench, she said, "Eew! I don't like butterflies."
Huh?
"Why?" I asked her.
"I'm afraid they're going to wind up caught in my hair or something," she said.
I thought that was weird and actually very silly, but I kept quiet about it, considering I love this particular friend of mine, and she does have many, many good qualities---despite her dislike of harmless, pretty little insects.

The thing is, how do you help an injured butterfly? In the middle of a bustling Farmers' Market? At the time, I decided there was nothing I could do, so I sort of angled my body away from it and pretended it wasn't there. I focused on eating my quesadilla and making conversation with my friend and husband.

In retrospect, now that I relive the moment in my head, I think I could have tried moving the butterfly to safety, maybe lifting him off the pavement and placing him out of the path of all those feet and the occasional pick-up truck. I should have done that. Now I feel like an ass. This is a recurring pattern for me: good intentions, followed by complete inertia.


I wonder if the butterfly died later on that night? Maybe he was squished by a hapless shoe or a truck tire shortly after we left the market? Perhaps he has miraculously survived and is still struggling to take flight.

Either way, I hope he's not suffering.

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